IZ
by Angel-with-a-Flower
Summary: Or What happens when the adventure ends in the OZ and a certain adorable Headcase is suddenly transported into the Inner Zone. Pretty normal, everyday stuff. Hilarity ensues. No language, limited violence, certain chapters will be indicated when need be.
1. In which I come home

Title: What person doesn't have a Glitch or two to work out?

A/N: This was inspired by an IM conversation between UnderWearNinja (aka: Baldr) and myself (Angel) late on night. It started out talking about "Tin Man" (SciFi channel's latest mini-series) and sort of escalated into a RP scenario. Here's the cleaned up version. Enjoy!!

...oh, and, yeah, I (sadly, very sadly, oh so sadly) do not own Glitch. He, and the rest of Tin Man, belong to the proper collective self/selves of modern corporations of...someone...but I can safely (sadly) say that someone is (once again, sadly) not me.

* * *

The weather sucked.

Yeah, I know, dark and stormy is so clichéd, but what can you expect in a winter that's too warm for it to snow? Anyways, gray clouds and cold rain, that's what we were having. I wrinkled my nose as I turned the collar of my jacket up towards my ears and tried to ignore the icy cold droplets that managed to trickle down my back. Fumbling for my keys, I let myself into my apartment. Once inside, I dropped my backpack beside the door and kicked off my soaked shoes. Nothing says fun like dripping tennis shoes and wet socks.

"Hey…" I called out as I peeled off my jacket and hung it on the inside doorknob to dry. "Hey, you home?" Making my way to the kitchen, I figured something nice and warm would be good to drink. Maybe some hot chocolate to warm the bones…

Sitting on the linoleum in the middle of my kitchen was a strange man. His clothes were faded and tattered, his hair was a matted mess, and a shiny zipper ran along the middle of his scalp from forehead to crown. For some reason, he had pulled all the pots and pans from underneath the counters and had strewn them around himself across the floor.

Maybe brandy would help instead.

Noticing that he was not alone, the man glanced up and smiled charmingly. The silence stretched on continuously.

"Hello…" I finally said to break the silence.

"Oh, hello!" He echoed, bouncing up and brushing his hands on the tattered sides of his coat. Smiling brilliantly, he stuck his hand out, giving off the impression of an overly excited schoolboy. I just stared at him for a few moments, but his expression didn't waver. Something really odd was up with this guy—like a stranger with a funny hair-do, tattered clothes, and a zipper down the middle of his skull isn't odd in and by itself—or he was just really, really nice. Either way, I was about to shake his hand when suddenly I was sneak-attacked from behind.

"Boo!"

"Oy!!" I shouted, wheeling around. My arm struck the assailant's shoulder, drawing forth a protest.

"Ow…meanie!" He complained. I surveyed the "assailant", aka: my flatmate. Baldr, the Ninja. Ex-ninja. Name is from the Old Norse—go figure—and means Prince of Beauty, Joy, Purity and Peace. Who would have thought, considering he walks around in a scruffy pair of jeans and an oversized hoodie that says, "One by one, the Penguins steal my sanity"? He rubbed his hooded sweatshirt at the shoulder, mock-wincing and frowned. "Meanie."

"Well, it serves you right. So…" I turned back to see the stranger still standing with his hand outreached, but his eager expression had dimmed greatly and now just looked plain baffled. Skirting around him as politely as I could, I crossed the kitchen to get at the refrigerator and fished out a soda. "Who's your friend?"

"Hello! I'm…uhm…" The stranger repeated, faltering halfway through the sentence and looked utterly befuddled.

"Glitch." Baldr injected, helping the poor guy out. I raised my eyebrow at the name, but withheld comment.

"Glitch! Yes? Yes! Yes, I am…um…Glitch." The stranger—erm, Glitch—echoed, seemingly unconvinced at first. That made two of us. I smiled anyways and reached out to him, finally shaking his hand.

"Well, its nice to meet you Glitch. So, where are you…uh…from?" I asked. As I let go of his hand, I noticed that that intriguing zipper that ran from front to back on his head was actually unzipped. I finished my sentence as casually as I could, but it was a slightly unsettling sight up close. It wasn't that it was disturbing really…it's just, after a long day at work, seeing someone's brainpan up close and in the open isn't really high on my list of "to do". Behind Glitch, I could see Baldr's reflection in the microwave's covering. He was doing a rather funny miming of zipping up his own head, clearly trying to convey the message to our new guest to zip his zipper.

"Where am I from? Why, I'm from...uh...well, I'm from...hmmmmmm..." The poor guy was too busy trying to remember where he was from to apparently notice the frantic hand motions going on display for his benefit. Instead, Glitch looked over my shoulder with an expression of utter dependency. "...Where am I from? I'm from somewhere, right?"

"The O.Z." Baldr replied, deadpan, and as I turned, he quickly crossed his hands in front of his chest, playing innocent.

"The 'O.Z.'?" I repeat, skepticism heavy in each word. This was starting to sound really strange. And I'm not talking about normal-strange. I mean, hyped-up on five different kinds of energy drinks and painting polka-dots on your car strange.

"Yes! The O.Z.!" Glitch echoed, rejoicing, excitement in his voice at the apparent return of his train of thought. "The Outer Zone."

"The Outer Zone." I repeat again. Skip the skepticism; I've entered the town of disbelief. "Right…ok…well then, have fun guys…" I shrugged, turning and leaving. Things were strange enough around here without people from different "zones" or "limits" showing up.

"Oh, ok…we will!" I heard Glitch reply as I turned the corner, heading out of sight. Apparently he either didn't get sarcasm, or he was being polite. Either way, my clothes were still wet, and I was willing to bet that once I changed into something more comfortable and dry, things would start looking a little less "odd".

Wouldn't that have been nice?


	2. In which the Ninja tells the story

A/N: This chapter will be told from Baldr's (aka: UnderWearNinja) point of view. Will we keep alternating? Who knows...lemme know what you think!

Shameless promotion: Go look at UnderWearNinja's page!! He's on too, you know! )

* * *

Sighing, I watched Angel leave. She was nice, but a bit…what would be the right word…trusting? Understanding? Blatantly accepting things as "just inevitable happenstances"? Sweet lady, though.

"Come on, Glitch, let's go look for something fun to do around here." I said, turning to glance at the new comer, and then, at the nod of his head, walked around the kitchen and out to the living room

"Fun? Alright…um…where's the fun?" Glitch followed like an obedient—if not chatty—puppy, glancing around as he walked, as if fun was an actual object. "Hmmmm…"

"Hmmm." I repeated, mocking him slightly. It was all too easy, because Glitch didn't seem to notice one bit. I guess the fact that he was lacking his left hemisphere of brain matter helped in that, but it was still easy pickings.

"Hmmm…" Glitch echoed again, glancing about, and I couldn't help myself.

"Check that room over there." I suggested, pointing to a closed door in the hallway. Of course, that would be the closet. That would be the closet where all the random things in the apartment went when they were done just lying around on the middle of the floor. The closet often deemed as "The Closet of No Return" or "The Closet that will eat you alive if it gets half a chance".

"Ok!" Glitch replied happily and wandered over. Opening the door, he gazed upwards at its contents, just before everything spilled out. "Uh…"

I watched casually as the bunches of random junk and stuff fell out, burying him alive.

For a few seconds, the pile just sat there, unmoving. Then, the pile quivered as Glitch inevitably would be fighting to survive beneath that mountain of junk. Moments later, Angel wandered out from her room causally, not realizing what had just transpired. I held my breath, trying not to laugh, and wondered how long it would take. _Five…four…_

"Hey, guys," She said as she passed from the hallway to the small kitchen_…three…_"It looks like the storm is going to get worse tonight,"_…two…_"So if you're going to order a pizza, do it now and don't wait until---WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" Angel hollered as she realized what the mess in the living room was. It just so happened that, at that particular moment, Glitch finally managed to free up one of his hands, and stuck it straight up in the air, waving frantically as he made muffled screams for help.

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing.

"He did it." I said as collectively as I could and pointed to the buried man. She visibly chose to ignore my comment and resigned to pulling Glitch from the pile.

"Are you alright?!" She asked, worried, as she helped him free himself and step wobbly from the mass of junk.

"Uh...I think so...but that isn't saying very much, I'm afraid." Glitch replied, giving a weak chuckle and then, with a confused look, pulled a small stuffed animal from the open zipper-cavity in his head. "Oops...I guess my zipper was down. Sorry about that! Didn't mean to offend anyone..."

I couldn't breath, I was laughing so much.

I mean, I could understand how that might be considered a little…well, not funny…but the look on the guy's face was priceless. The way he sounded about "not offending" her, you would have thought he was walking around without his pants!!

Which, by the way, is not that offensive…if you have the right can.

From the looks I was getting from Angel, I figured it was time to say something. I tried to breath normally again and summoned up a few words.

"Its…ok…" I managed to wheeze out. Apparently, those were the wrong words. Angel kept glaring at me as she helped Glitch to the couch.

"Its alright Glitch…as long as you are ok." She told him sweetly, helping him stand up. Glitch wobbled a bit, and she grabbed him quickly before he could fall over. "You are ok, aren't you?"

"Who, me?" Glitch asked, looking down at her, surprised. That's one thing the dude has in his favor, easily amused and easily pleased. "Oh, yes, yes I'm alright...except that I'm missing half of my brain. That's not alright...but the rest of me is alright!" He gave her a reassuring smile with a quick laugh. I laughed again as well. Man, this guy was amusing!!! Angel just glared.

"What?" I asked. "…it was funny…"

"You didn't have anything to do with his missing lobe, did you?" She asked with a suspicious glare.

"I did nothing of the sort!" I protested, but her look didn't lighten up. "Well, I didn't!" Sheesh…steal a few brains, break a few faces, and she'll think it's your fault every time…

"Oh, no, he is telling the truth..." Glitch backed me up. "No, no the scientists back in the OZ did it...I knew too much. Now I don't know anything! Isn't that funny?" He asked, laughed once, and then stopped short. "Oh, no, not its not funny..."

"I think it is!" I commended with a chuckle, but quieted down when Angel turned that glare back on me. Man, bury a guy under a mountain of closet junk and she gets so touchy…

"No, removing someone's brain isn't funny, Glitch, but you're ok with us…right?" She reassured him, turning to me with that tone in her voice that said "help me out here and back me up on this or so help me…". Ah, that tone. I am quite familiar with that tone. Weighing my options, I decided to go with the casual defensive.

"If I didn't like him, I wouldn't have brought him here." I agreed. Angel rolled her eyes, but Glitch looked up from the floor to gaze around hopefully.

"Hey, so, does that mean you both are…are my friends?" He asked, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Gladly Glitch." I nodded.

"Yes, Glitch, we're your friends." Angel agreed, smiling warmly, and gave him a hug. Glitch's face lit up like fireworks and his grin could have split his face in two. Oy vey...

"This is great!" He commented, returning the hug. "Two new friends!!! So…um…where are we?"

"Her house." I said dryly, pointing at Angel. Glitch loosened his arms slightly to look down at her.

"Your house?"

"My house." She confirmed with a small chuckle. Ah, the normal insanity of everyone just standing around, repeating the same phrase with different pronouns. So much fun.

"I ninja-ed you here." I informed him, leaning casually against the back of the couch. Angel frowned at me. She hates it when I use my l33t ninja skillz.

"Ah…" Glitch replied, as if that explanation solved everything. I grinned and counted: _three…two…one…_ "Um, what is ninja-ed?"


	3. In which we learn about professions

A/N: In which we learn about professions…And I guess I'll take the risk and has this chapter told from Glitch's pov. Please **REVIEW** and let me know if this was done well or not...and if I should continue rotating through all three points of view or if/who I should stick with. Thanks!!! )

* * *

Angel, the very kind woman, who didn't seem to mind that I had invaded her home, looked sideways at Baldr and sighed deeply. I wasn't sure why she had done that, but I looked to Baldr as well, with hopes of understanding what this "ninja-ed" thing was. 

"Well…when something is ninja-ed…" He started to explain, then stopped and started with a different tactic. "Its when one uses a ninja skill to summon someone or something to them." Baldr looked as if he was to say more on the subject, but Angel then interrupted.

"If you demonstrate, please don't do it on him again…" She spoke up, gently placing a hand on my shoulder and gave a little squeeze. The motion was strangely comforting and I looked to her. "I prefer my house guests to remain in one piece…" Now that was less than reassuring! However, I was still confused on this "ninja" concept. Summons people and things? Perhaps it was some sort of transporting device, like a vehicle…

"You're not fun." Baldr huffed, pouting slightly. Angel got that look on her face again, as if she was about to be cross, so I spoke up once more and voiced my confusion.

"And…what is a ninja, exactly?" I asked, drawing their attentions back to the matter at hand. "Is that a new technology? I make technology…" I voiced my sudden realization out loud, but as quick as I could say it, that certain feeling was gone. "At least, I think I do. Did. Did I?"

"A ninja is a profession." Baldr explained. "But I am no longer a ninja anymore, so I guess we're a lot alike." He gave a brief but friendly smile.

"Oh, like a Sawhorse!" I exclaimed, finally understanding. Ninja must be the professional term for a person in charge of this realm's transportation, just like the Sawhorse were in charge of the royals' horses! Now, if I could only remember how I knew that…

"Um…I guess…" Baldr was saying, confusion written all over his face, but I could not stop to clarify; I was too busy trying to remember how to think to remember.

"Wait, you're not a ninja anymore?" Angel had asked, and as I looked down at her, I saw that she was frowning with a look of deep concern etched on her face. "What happened?"

"Defected." He replied casually, shrugging and looking away quickly.

"Did they take your brain too?" I asked in a reverent, hushed tone. Angel suddenly gave a shout of laughter, and as I looked down astonished, Baldr started to laugh as well. I couldn't understand it…loosing one's brain was a very somber matter!!

"If I had one to take, then maybe." Baldr retorted, pointing at Angel and made a face. I was completely baffled.

"Wait…you…you don't have a brain at all?" I asked, alarmed. "How do you function?"

"That's what she said!" Angel gasped, nearly doubling over with laughter.

"Who?" I inquired.

"He's on first!" Angel called out, but at the same time, Baldr gave her a gentle kick and spoke over her words.

"It's the only logical answer…" He said loudly. "Oy, why you laughing?" Angel coughed a few times, her cheeks pink with merriment as she finally stopped laughing, and smiled up at me, snaking one arm around my waist and gave my side a small squeeze.

"Never mind, Glitch, it's a TV thing…" She informed me. Just as I was puzzling over what a TV-thing might be, she turned and kicked Baldr back, quite ungentle. "Oy! Don't kick!" She scolded him. He merely kicked her back.

"You started it!"

"Naw, you did." She replied lazily, kicking him once more. This began a steady trend of one saying something, accompanied with a swift foot to the shin, and then the other taking turn. Before I could think anything of it—or anything at all, in that matter—I had leaned to one side and kicked Baldr as well.

"You laughed at me!" He exclaimed, aiming a kick at Angel, however he missed and his foot caught my knee. "Hey, don't kick me!" He scolded. Perhaps he didn't miss after all…

"Ow!" I cried. Grumbling, I hobbled out of reach. "Why is everyone kicking each other?!"

"She started it." He commented, pointing at Angel. She, in return, stuck a tongue out at him, wrapped both arms around my torso, and kicked him once more.

"Don't you kick Glitch!!" She exclaimed. "And if you lob easy laughs, don't get haughty with me!"

"Tis not my fault, so I'm not sorry!" Baldr huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well…I'll give you that one…" She conceded. "But no more kicking!"

"…Ok…" He replied, his voice low and tone defeated. As he turned his back to us both and gave a deep sigh, I could not help but feel a slight tug of sorrow for my friend. Surely he has always meant well…Apparently Angel felt the same, for she loosened her grip on my long enough to reach over and ruffle his hair gently.

"Oh, don't sulk so. Anyways, you never told us…so, why did they kick you out? Were you playing ninja-pranks on people again?" She ended her sentence with a teasing tone, making Baldr turn and smile slightly. Huzzah! Everyone was happy again!! …now, what is a ninja-prank? Is that like when the Sawhorse take the dung and…

"Nope, I defected." Baldr declared, interrupting my thoughts. Good thing too, I wasn't sure I liked where they were headed! But this left me puzzled.

"So, you had a…a glitch?" I asked confused. Angel laughed slightly, and I looked down at her once more.

"No…that's not exactly what he means." She told me.

"Well…it was something sort of like that…" Baldr contradicted her at the same time. I tried to think on both of their words, but they only clashed against one another, making me even more confused that I was all on my own. Oh, my head hurt!! Baldr stood, taking me by the shoulders and sat me down on the couch. He sat to one side, next to me, and tried to explain.

"Defecting…defecting is when, after you join something, you later decided to quit and then you join their enemies." He said. He spoke gently and slowly, not enough for me to feel insulted, rather, that he was being kind enough, knowing I sometimes could not think right.

And how right he was to think that. I could not wrap my head around such a thought. Changing sides? Siding with your enemy?!

"So…wait…" I just could not understand what he was saying! I could not understand it at all! "…you're…" My mind tried to process such an idea, but even as I am, I could tell my synapses were not firing correctly. A gap was there, and within that gap lied the knowledge to grasp this concept.

"I don't think he's going to get this right away." Angel said quietly to Baldr. I could feel her staring at the back of my head.

"Maybe you should explain it instead." He said, his voice equally low, but he laughed a little as he spoke. I looked up as she crossed around the side of the couch and, sighing, sat down gently next to me. I gazed at her, and as she looked back at me, I knew she saw the confusion and turmoil I felt. That she understood how hard it was to make some connections without the missing half of my brain. Reaching out, she patted my knee, and gave me a small smile. I smiled back.

"Ok, Glitch…it's sort of like when…" That's as far as she got. I leapt to my feet, the connection suddenly being made. Twisting around, I pointed at a shocked Baldr, and hollered:

"You're on the Evil Queen's side?!"

…and, before I knew what had happened, I felt a sudden sharp crack of pain behind my knees, and fell, heels over head, and everything went dark.


	4. In which we have a slight problem

A/N: In which we have a slight problem…since this keeps it fun and interesting, this chapter will be from my (Angel's) pov and the chapters will keep rotating as such until (1) I get more feedback or (2) I get more feedback saying that people like it this way. Either way, **FEEDBACK** please!!

* * *

I watched as Glitch, waving his arms and shouting some apocalyptic something-or-other about an Evil Queen, tripped backwards, tumbling over the coffee table and onto his back. Wincing, I stood quickly to see what I could help with. You know, that coffee table has withstood fire, ferrets, and a pizza-loving ninja. Now, apparently, headcase could be added to that list…

"Ooo…Glitch? Are you alright, Glitch?" I asked, gingerly stepping around the edge of the table. The poor guy was lying flat on his back with his legs in the air, still propped up along the edge of the table from his tumble. His eyes were closes, although I wasn't sure if that was good or if he had knocked himself unconscious.

Suddenly, his eyes flew open and he stared at the ceiling blankly for a few moments. As I leaned over him, wondering if he had broken his neck this time, he smiled up at me in such an adorable way that I couldn't help but smile briefly back.

"Oh, hello! I'm Glitch…" He recited, holding out his hand for a handshake. Smiling out of relief, I helped him up to a sitting position instead. "Oh, thank you!" He said, his smile growing warmer and brighter as he stared at me, seemingly unable to take his eyes off me.

"So, do you think he remembers what just happened?" Baldr asked casually, glancing between Glitch and myself. Turning to look over my shoulder at the ex-ninja, I shrugged.

"Uh…well…?" I sighed and offered another shrug. With this guy, who knew what was happening in his head! I helped Glitch stand properly, watching him carefully in case he was to take another swan dive for the carpet. Grinning, Glitch merely offered his hand to Baldr.

"Oh, hello! I'm Gli—AHHHHHHHHHH!!" He shouted, freaking out. Trying to back away from Baldr as quick as possible, Glitch tripped over his feet once again, but I grabbed him before he could reacquaint himself with the coffee table and the floor.

Man, I really like my coffee table…good, solid, dependable…

Baldr winced at the man's loud commotion, and sighed.

"Yup, he remembers." He quipped with dry sarcasm.

"He's a member of the Evil Queen's army!" Glitch hollered.

"No he's not." I countered in the most reassuring tone I could. Instead of listing, Glitch tripped over himself, trying to hide behind me, and continued taking verbal shots at Baldr from over my shoulder.

"He's a longcoat…without the longcoat…" Glitch dialed up the distrust and suspicion in his voice. "Hey, longcoat, where's your longcoat?"

"I wanna long coat." Baldr said, grinning madly, sending Glitch into another tizzy of hollering and pointing. I groaned.

"See! He is a longcoat, working for the Evil Queen!…working for the Evil Queen!…working for the Evil Queen!…"

"No, man, pirate." Baldr pointed to himself, and then at me. "Pirate. We're pirates. I see no longcoats." I groaned again. Yeah, he just had to bring up the whole "pirate" thing…

"Ahem." I said, keeping my words short and my temper in check. "Pirate was a one-time, summer sort of thing, remember? I couldn't work the hours around my preferred life…that's why I work at the Comic shop now. Nicer hours, more reliable pay, and no one making back pirate jokes about…well…treasure." I shot Baldr a glare, knowing exactly what he would say if I finished that sentence properly.

"…working for the Evil Queen!…working for the Evil Queen!…" Glitch kept repeating. I looked over my shoulder at him, shooting worried glances his way.

"I think he's broken…did you break him?!" I demanded, glaring at Baldr again. He threw his hands up in a "why do you think it was me? I've been sitting over here this whole time" sort of gesture and, grumbling, stood up, crossed the living room, and smacked Glitch in the chest.

"Are you ok?!" He demanded, looking at the shaken and confused headcase. I frowned when Glitch didn't respond.

"Fix him!"

"I tried…" He replied, frowning and reaching into his pocket. Second later, he fished out what he was looking for and twirled his Sonic Screwdriver between his fingers. "Well, lets have a look-see…"

"OY! No! No no no no no no!! You are NOT going to tinker with him like that!" I protested, throwing my arms out in front of Glitch.

"Tinker?" Glitch echoed. "I'm a tinker! At least, I think I am…Hello, I'm Glitch…um…have we met before?" He asked, holding out his hand. Baldr and I traded glances, leaving the poor headcase standing unanswered for a few minutes.

"Are you ok?" Baldr asked again, shining the Screwdriver's blue light into Glitch's eyes.

"Am I?" Glitch replied, blinking at the invasive light and looking down to inspect his body. "I think I am…but that's not saying much." He laughed briefly and then stood somber. "Um…where am I?"

"In a hole in the wall." Baldr quipped before I could reassure the poor Glitch. "Now, sit down so I can tinker with you."

"Ignore him…you're safe, Glitch." I said with a sigh, gently putting my arms around the puzzled headcase. He smiled in return, tilting his head, and resting his lightly on mine.

"Oh, ok…that's good." He replied softly. We stood there for a few minutes, just enjoying the silence of the room, before he continued. "You know, I'm a Tinker…I built things for Central City…at least, I think I did…"


	5. In which we have set some guide rules

A/N: In which we have set some guide rules…Continuing the roundabout, this is in Baldr's pov.

Warning: This is a short chapter. I know. I'm sorry. But that's just the way it worked out when everything was divided up. Be annoyed now, but later this short chapter will be worth a long and even funnier one. Trust me, I'm the writer...actually, that usually is a bit of an oxymoron, involving pitchforks and lit torches. So, trust Glitch, he's adorably handsome and not in any way the writer.

* * *

I stood there silently as Angel and Glitch stood in the middle of the living room, their arms draped around each other, acting all sweet and sensitive towards one another. Frowning, I fiddled with my sonic screwdriver, changing the settings and flicking the light on and off. Yeesh, when was she gonna get over this sap?

"I tinker with all kinds of things…" I interrupted their little "moment", quickly taking advantage of the fact that Glitch was leaning over, slightly off balance, and pushed him to a sitting position on the couch behind him. "Now hold still." I shined the screwdriver's light into each of his eyes, checking for any hesitancy of the pupils dilating. He blinked several times, frowning and pulling away.

"What is that? Is that a 'good thing'?" He asked, rapid-fire questions. "I don't know…" Glitch kept scooting farther and farther down the couch until he nearly fell off the other end. "I don't know…" He repeated, and Angel kneeled down, wrapping her arms protectively around him again.

"Leave him alone." She sighed and frowned at me. What, like it was my fault the guy has glitches? Like it's my fault he's missing half his brain and the remaining synapses don't fire right most of the time? Like it's my fault he's wimpy and pathetic enough that makes him some sort of Angel-magnet? Not that it bothers me or anything…

"You never let me have any fun." I sighed back, pretending to pout. That usually gets her.

"Oh, are we having fun?" Glitch asked innocently, his expression perking up. Poor guy: half the time he's being cuddled and he's totally clueless.

"I was." I frowned. Hmmmm…maybe, if I could trick him—innocently, friendly-like trick him, I mean—into breaking away from under Angel's watchful sight, maybe I could run a few tests. Not like they'd hurt him or anything…

…not that much…

"Well, now you're going to look for something else to have 'fun' with." Angel replied, unwinding her arms from Glitch. Behind my back, I twirled my sonic screwdriver in between my fingers. Good as gold. "But no tinkering with him!!" She scolded lightly, and I said a few choice words in my mind. Ruins all my fun some days…other days, well…

"Fine then!" I replied, scooting around the couch and wrapped my arms around her, grabbing her teasingly. "I'll just tinker with you!" I laughed, but apparently she wasn't in the mood.

"No! No! Bad ex-ninja!" She said, somehow smacking the back of my head while I held her stationary in front of me. Women, eh? Very strange and mysterious…

"Grrr…" I growled. In my defense, it was suppose to be more of a purr. Except guys don't really purr…No, we growl in a friendly-like fashion. But I guess I came off a little less friendly, because before I knew what happened, Glitch had hauled off and kicked me.

And it hurt!

"OY!!" I hollered, side-stepping out of his reach, but if his expression was any indication, I had a feeling he would try it again no matter where I stood. I let go of Angel and leaned against the couch-back, rubbing at my shin.

"Why did you do that?" She asked Glitch, giving him quite a peculiar look. I would go as far as odd, but not as far as disturbed.

Any you ladies say we men never notice your emotions…

"Uh…heh…I don't know really…" Glitch confessed, looking confused again. I rolled my eyes and limped off towards the kitchen.

"No body loves me…" I lamented, playing up the injured card. That usually worked…

"Oy…" She sighed. "Not this again."

"I'm sorry." Glitch said. Turning to look back at Angel, I caught his glance and realized the apology had been meant for me. Glitch's face wore a sorrowful, kicked-puppy expression, and I would have sworn I saw his eyes brimming slightly. Wow, the poor guy actually looked genuinely sorry! He stepped forward, opening his arms, and before I could do a thing about it, he actually threw his arms around me in a huge hug!

Well, all right, I'll admit it: that made me feel a little better.

But only by a little bit.

A guy's gotta hold onto some pride, even if he is only an ex-ninja.

Meanwhile, Angel was standing in the backdrop of the living room, actually looking quite pleased as she watched Glitch give me a brief but honest hug. She smiled and sighed contently.

"Ok…well, as long as you two can play nice, I guess this could work…" She said as she walked towards the back of the apartment. Everything seemed a little too at peace. I poked Glitch roughly in the ribs.

"What jo0 t4lkin b0u7, wi11is?" I called out after her retreating footsteps. I heard her pause in the hallway, and mutter:

"Oy vey…"


	6. In which we learn some new terminology

In which we learn some new terminology…Told from Glitch's pov.

A/N: WARNING: Minor language and very childish action

* * *

I laughed slightly, for one reason, out of nervousness, but mostly because what Baldr had said sounded funny. This world certainly had many interesting languages! 

"Ummm…what?" Baldr asked, turning back to me. I guess I was staring at him, because he continued, his pitch rising to a defensive tone. "I said wasn't a ninja anymore…didn't say that I wasn't still L33t."

"'Leet'? What is 'leet'? Is it a plant?" I asked. Leet sounded close to 'leaf' in a strange, mouth-full-of-something sort of way. "It sounds like a plant…Are you a plant?" Baldr just continued to stare at me. It was becoming quite uncomfortable. Luckily, however, Angel must have heard me, because she sighed again and walked back from wherever she kept disappearing to.

"He's not a plant, Glitch, and, no, it's not a part of a plant…it's a computer-thing." She said, leaning against the wall right outside of the kitchen. I nodded, smiling.

"Oh, of course…um…what's a computer?" I asked. This time, a bloom of heat rushed to my face as I received open stares from both of my new friends…apparently, in their world, this was a rather silly question. Both Angel and Baldr exchanged wide-eyed looks.

"I'm guessing they don't have computers in the OZ…" She said, breaking the silence. Angel cast a side-glance to Baldr and frowned. "Be gentle with him…"

"I could _build_ him a brain…" Baldr offered, and the hungry look on his face suddenly made me extremely nervous. It was the look of a man who had a brilliant plan and wanted to make that image be birthed into reality, and I suddenly realized why I was often left alone for hours on end when I was inventing…not because I demanded it, but because the obsessed ideas of creation all too well overwhelm a man…

…and then I wondered if there were any waffles left…

"Oh, no!" Angel said quite vehemently. She seemed upset at such an idea, and pulled me over until I was hidden behind her. Which wasn't saying very much. I mean, it was quite a sweet gesture, but the woman is only 5' 7"…hardly a fortress. But still, very sweet. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and NO! You are NOT going to be tinkering with him!!"

"Why not? It could work!" Baldr protested. He seemed determined to have his way. Which is to say, slightly disturbing, considering it was my noggin he wanted to play around with…

"Heh…how about…no?" She shot back. Baldr opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say another word, Angel drew back her leg and gave him a swift kick in the shin. He gave a howl of surprise and reached out, giving her a hard jab in the arm with his finger. This, of course, ensued in a poking-kicking war, which seems to be quite common in this household.

And I knew the one way to stop it.

Without further ado, I sidestepped Angel, and delivered a quick kick of my own. Per usual, that stopped the nudging war. Unfortunately, I did not expect Baldr to retaliate in his own way at this sudden interference.

He bit me.

I yelped, I am ashamed to say, jumping backwards and falling over into a chair. Baldr continued to growl at me, and for a brief moment, I wondered if he was infected with the same pox the papay are often with.

And then I though on buttered toast. Or maybe marmalade toast. So nice for brunch…especially with tea…

"Hey, be nice to Glitch!!" Angel glared at him, protesting in my defense. She turned back to me, kneeling beside the chair. "Poor Glitchy…."_Glitchy?_ Since when did my name add a "y" to the end? And sound so cute? No matter. It was quite nice getting this sudden nurturing attention. I smiled back at her.

"He started it…" Baldr grumbled, poking at the side table's lampshade. Angel turned, giving him a tough look.

"Don't be mean!! That's no reason to bite him! You ought to be ashamed of youself, picking on something smaller and weaker than yourself!!" She scolded him.

"Woof!" Baldr replied with a crooked grin.

"Um….not weaker here…." I imputed, looking up at the two of them. "And definitely not smaller…"

"Are too." Baldr shot back.

"Heh, am not." I scoffed.

"Oh yah?" Baldr challenged. "How tall are you?"

"Um..." I said, straightening up, and then cocked my head to the side, thinking hard "…I don't know...but I'm definitely not smaller than you!" I laughed.

"I'm 6' 2". There's no way you're taller than me." Baldr challenged, standing up straighter. I thought hard, winding a curled bit of hair around my finger, trying to remember the last time I was measured for fittings…or looked in a mirror…

…bagels with lox…

"I'm…uhm…." I thought harder. "…………………uhhhhhhhhhhhm…." This was going nowhere. Luckily, Angel thought of a better route. Grabbing each of us by the forearm, she hauled us closer and spun me around.

"Here, stand back to back!" She suggested, and stood back, comparing our heights. "Ok…Baldr, if you're 6'2", then Glitch is…5'10"." She gave me an apologetic grin. "Sorry sweetie, but he's taller than you." I sighed and pretended to pout. I personally don't care if I was shorter than her roommate, but if there's one thing I can remember about women, it's that they love to rescue "wounded" men. She loved it. Angel wrapped her arms around my shoulders, cooing in that sweet way women do.

Love it.

"Suck up." Baldr teased, grinning. Oh, there's no fooling other guys. We all know this ploy. However, fate would have it that it never bodes well to speak against a "wounded man".

"Hey, what have I said?" Angel scolded him, delivering a solid whack to his arm. "Be nice to Glitch!!"

"Hey…don't hit me!" He protested, giving her an equal blow to the shoulder.

"You can't hit me…I'm a girl!" Angel squealed, standing and hitting him back.

"I just did."

"Well, don't do it again…OY!" They traded more shoulder punches, each giving the other a hard time. This ritual was becoming quite tedious…

"Stop hitting me!" Baldr exclaimed suddenly.

"You stop hitting me…then we'll talk."

"Don't hit her...she's a girl!" I injected, delivering a kick of my own. Unfortunately, that didn't go over as well as I had hoped. Baldr gave a halfhearted kick of his own.

"Don't kick me, ph00l." He complained, earning another kick and a blow to the arm from Angel.

Suddenly, I was thinking on French toast with almond spread…

"Don't beat up on Glitch! He's only being nice and protecting me!!" She exclaimed, glaring at her roommate. Suddenly, I had no idea where I was or who these people were. Wasn't I walking through the forest of the Papay just a few moments ago?

"Uh...yah!" I added, unsure of what exactly was going on. I kicked the man for emphasis on her point.

"Oy! Stop hitting me!" He snapped, hitting her.

Oh…yes…that's right…Baldr and Angel and this whole messed up pecking order…how could I forget?

"Stop hitting ME!!" Angel shot back, hitting him again.

Ok, this has got to stop. I wormed my way between the two, throwing my arms out to separate them.

"Ok, I think this needs to end!! If both of you stop at the same time, no one wins, no one loses, and everyone stops hurting!!" I said, watching closely in case a few more fists decided to fly. They seem to consider it.

"Fine." Baldr consented, putting his hands in the air in an "unarmed" manner. "I'm just gonna go get something to eat then."

"Oh…ok…" Angel replied. She seemed a bit shocked. Perhaps he had never given up so easily before. Looping her arms around my torso, Angel gave me a quick hug from behind. I smiled down at her gently.

You know, when this place wasn't so chaotic, it was kind of nice…

"Damn pizza phone peoples!!" Baldr shouted from the kitchen. "Message says that their take out is having a phone glitch…Heh…" He chuckled darkly, glancing around the corner. "Mmmmmmm…Glitch…"

"Oy!! Glitch is not for eating!!" Angel replied, alarmed.

Now, _this_ made me worry.


End file.
